Why Write a Thank You?
Guest post by Art Decker
Have you ever heard of the butterfly effect? As the saying goes, a butterfly flapping its wings on one side of the world could cause a tsunami an ocean away. The idea is that tiny events can trigger something much larger — tiny events have a ripple effect. It’s like a pebble dropping into a pond. The pebble will produce a tiny ripple, but the ripple expands in a series of concentric circles growing ever larger as they move further from their origin.
Gratitude is like that — potentially world-changing.
Gratitude is so important that Tibetan Buddhists have a slogan: “Be grateful to everyone.” By that they mean to be grateful to even (or maybe especially) those people who have brought you strife, because by doing so, those people gave you an opportunity to practice patience. Moreover, a moment of gratitude expressed to such a person can be extremely powerful — because a person who has caused you some problem is the last person who would expect you to say “thank you.” The ripple effect from such a “thank you” is even greater than usual, IF the thank you comes across as truly sincere and not sarcastic.
There are other ways to amplify the ripple effect of a thank you. One way is to put it in writing — handwriting.
As email becomes more common, receiving a handwritten note via snail mail has become an unusual experience. Most of us rarely receive handwritten letters. As a result, a thank you note in the mail, handwritten in ink on a beautiful card, can really touch the person who receives it. It is unexpected, maybe even unnecessary. Because it is so unexpected and unnecessary, and because it involves the extra exertion of obtaining a card and stamps, writing the note, walking it to a mailbox, such a thank you touches the heart of the recipient.
A thank you touches the heart so much that researchers have begun to study the effects of gratitude in the business world. A 2009 study of the hotel industry found that hotel guests are more likely to return to the same hotel if they are thanked for their stay. This year, a Wharton School of Business study noted that when people who help someone are thanked in writing, they feel a sense of self-efficacy and social worth. In other words, they feel that their actions have meaning and were valued by the people around them. A written thank you feels so good that people who receive one are more likely to repeat the action for which they were thanked, not just for the person who thanked them, but also for others.
In addition to touching the heart of the person who receives it, a written thank you says something about the person who sends it. It creates the impression that not only are you a thoughtful person who is capable of a graceful gesture, but also that you are an organized, self-disciplined person. The more uncommon a written thank you note becomes, the stronger the good impression becomes that is made by the person who writes and mails such notes.
How can we incorporate written expressions of gratitude — and the ripple effects that they engender — into our lives? It isn’t hard. Here are a few tips:
- Keep a supply of beautiful notecards, pens, and stamps at your desk or in your briefcase or purse. (I prefer a fountain pen, but any pen that is a pleasure to write with will do.)
- Make a habit of collecting business cards — not only will you build your network of contacts, but you will have an address handy to which to send your thank you note.
- Write a thank you note quite soon after the act for which you are thanking a person — within 24 hours, while the event is still fresh in both your minds.
- Keep your note short and to the point.
- Don’t thank a person to make a good impression, even though you will. Make your thanks utterly sincere.
Remember, small actions such as mailing thank you notes may not feel like a big deal. But like so many small actions that we rarely think about, like any action that touches people’s hearts, this one can change the world.
Image courtesy of flickr member wot nxt / Marcel van Schooten
Art Decker is a division manager with Self Storage Company, which operates a group of websites, including a California self-storage locator. Art leads a busy life, but enjoys meeting new people and interacting with customers as he travels between sites, like from San Francisco to the Los Angeles self-storage.
