You Can’t Plan Perfect
In Scotland, there is a pre-wedding tradition that involves the startled bride-to-be (and sometimes the groom), her supposed friends and buckets of eggs, feathers and anything slimy out of the refrigerator. The newly Blackened Bride is then escorted around town and, eventually, allowed a bath. I’m sometimes tempted to point out this cute little custom to certain individuals obsessing over their weddings, but I’m not sure it would be taken in the spirit of commiseration that it was offered. As a single gal, I guess I just don’t understand.
There must be an excess amount of pheromones in the air lately, because it seems as if everyone I know is getting married. In the last four months I’ve attended two out of three weddings and donned my party shoes for another just this weekend. Three more are in the works (four, if my friend’s boyfriend ever gets off his duff). And for such joyful occasions, weddings are remarkably stressful; I’ve been privy to a lot of planning discussions and not a few rants. How many should be in the bridal party? Who’s throwing the bridesmaid’s luncheon? The shower? To veil or not to veil? What does your choice of flower say about you? Amid so many decisions and the pressure to plan the most beautiful ceremony that ever united a pair of lovebirds, things can get a little out of hand. That’s why it’s important to step back and remember why you’re doing it.
Sometimes I wonder whether we place too much importance on ceremony. Do we believe that a wedding can’t possibly mean what it should without all of the trappings? And if your “Special Day” doesn’t go perfectly to plan, have you just jinxed your entire marriage? At my cousin’s wedding it was the little mistakes—dropping the flowers and putting the ring on the wrong hand— and the giggles that followed that made the ceremony special. Maybe it’s just me, but I feel like these human moments are the things to remember, not the number of roses in the bouquet.
Weddings are first and foremost about people. If getting hitched doesn’t come without a few snags, remember that at the end of the day what’s most important is the person standing beside you. So relax, ladies. Enjoy the ride. And if nothing else, at least you haven’t been tarred and feathered.
Image by Ali Nishan/millzero
Tori is a student intern who will be working with the Thankfulfor team over the summer. She is a senior at the Savannah College of Art and Design, where she is studying graphic design.
