A Supermom’s Journey
This is the first of hopefully many guest posts we’ll be seeing from Cheryl Nordyke and Kim Wierman, founders of Waves of Gratitude - a company that exists because of their belief that when life presents you with professional and personal difficulties, a strong foundation of gratitude can help turn those difficulties into opportunities. The owner’s resolve to build a future based on a foundation of gratitude is unwavering. The pair created an online store to give everyone the opportunity to “wear” powerful symbols of gratitude, jewelry and apparel made to personalize the concepts of hope, love, legacy, creativity, optimism, inspiration, confidence and awakening that make everyone beautiful inside and out.
This week’s post was written by Kim Wierman.
A little more than a year after an event that changed my life forever, I am grateful to be here in a place I wasn’t sure I would ever be. I’m in a place of healing and it’s because of so many people and things that have come into my life. I am co-owner of a business that gives people beautiful, stylish ways to express their gratitude and stay inspired. And the best part is that I get to work on it everyday with someone who has become one of my best friends, Cheryl, who patiently prodded me along through the most difficult times reminding me of my purpose and the impact we hoped to make with our business.
Shortly after my husband of 15 years died, I wrote the following article which was published in Chicken Soup for the Soul: Power Moms. I called it, “I Never Wanted to Be a Supermom.” It went like this…
“I never wanted to be a super mom. I just wanted to be the regular, run of mill mom. You know the kind that is part nurse, part chauffer, part toy truck mechanic, and part nutritional and financial counselor. I didn’t want to be the kind of mom who juggles career and family. I was content being just in charge of the home and family. I will admit there were times where I felt judged for my decision. There were also times when finances dictated I do something to earn a little extra for the family. I was thankful for my college education because it did allow me to earn money from home as a freelance writer. I was the new June Cleaver, and very happy with that role. I didn’t know just how happy I was though until I was thrown into a new role.
At first the choice was just that: a choice. My husband had been ill with a chronic but manageable illness. We felt if he could take some time off from his crazy manufacturing manager shifts that he would, and we all would, enjoy a better quality of life. I went back to full-time work and he became the full time stay at home dad while he took courses toward changing to a career more conducive to better health. It was a struggle at first. I felt like I was missing out on all I had enjoyed for the last 12 years as a stay at home mom. I felt I was missing the day trips to the beach in the summer and having the time to decorate the house for the holidays. It literally took me 9 months until I adjusted to the fact that I was gone 12 or 13 hours a day including commute and had only weekends to accomplish what I used to do while the kids were in school.
I only had to endure another year of that schedule until the company restructured and my job was eliminated. Even though I was happy to be free from a job I barely tolerated, I worried about many things. I had provided the health insurance for my family and a little more than half of the income. I was hopeful at this time too though. My husband was truly happy for the first time in many years working toward a career he both loved and one that would provide well for our family. His health had improved greatly by being home and able to manage when he needed to stop and rest. We enjoyed this for 3 short weeks. Then life changed in a way we never imaged and one that would leave us redefining each role in our family. I HAD to become a supermom the day my husband suddenly died from a heart attack at the age of 48. My boys suddenly needed a super mom.
The boys are 14, 12 and 9. They need both a father and a mother. I find myself wondering how I can be all things to them. How can I be their driving teacher, catch partner, nurturer, and just mom, the person they go to for warm cookies and hugs? How will I provide for them? I struggle with the roles because I never felt like a great mom. Would I be a better, Dad? Certainly not. I felt like I was really good at being a wife, and that role no longer exists.
What is a super mom then? To me a super mom is one that recognizes her short comings and asks for forgiveness of her children without the guilt trip. She is someone who tries a little harder each day to have more patience than the day before. She is someone who strives to end each day, no matter how hectic or chaotic with a goodnight kiss and an “I love you” that is heartfelt. With this definition, we can all be super moms.”
As I read this now, I think of the journey over the last year and a half and I am more than just grateful. I am stronger, more capable and perhaps have a little broader perspective of what really matters. I wear the jewelry we created as a symbol of that strength, reminder of that gratitude, and statement of my hope that anything is possible when we are surrounded by people that believe in us and make good use of the opportunities with which we are presented.
