Thank You
Opportunities are capricious things. You may come out of one with far more than you expected.
When I began my internship with the wonderful folks at Shiny Heart (those responsible for Thankfulfor.com), I was eager to utilize my design skills outside of a classroom and learn about what goes into creating and promoting a website like this one. These goals were more than met, but my internship also had an unanticipated secondary benefit. I learned about practicing gratitude.
I’ve always been something of a hopeful pessimist: I expected the worst in the hopes that I would be pleasantly surprised. You can imagine that this strategy, besides being oxymoronic, is not the most conducive to finding the good in things. Working here, I learned about gratitude journals and the ways in which they can help you shape a happier, healthier mental outlook. Finding something to be grateful for every day is a challenge (one that I still struggle to meet), but well worth the work. You begin to look beyond what you expect to disappoint you and see instead the good in what you already have. I’ve found that for such a simple exercise, saying “thank you” can be a powerful tool for improving your state of mind.
As I finish my internship here, there are a lot of things for which I’m grateful. I’m thankful for Jen and Frank, who have been wonderful to work for. I’m thankful for the opportunity to participate with this website, and for being able to share my thoughts on this blog. And, of course, I’m thankful for you, who make this website possible (and therefore gave me a job). Thank you. It’s been a pleasure.
Image by Philippa Willitts
Tori is a student intern who will be working with the Thankfulfor team over the summer. She is a senior at the Savannah College of Art and Design, where she is studying graphic design.
Why Write a Thank You?
Guest post by Art Decker
Have you ever heard of the butterfly effect? As the saying goes, a butterfly flapping its wings on one side of the world could cause a tsunami an ocean away. The idea is that tiny events can trigger something much larger — tiny events have a ripple effect. It’s like a pebble dropping into a pond. The pebble will produce a tiny ripple, but the ripple expands in a series of concentric circles growing ever larger as they move further from their origin.
Gratitude is like that — potentially world-changing.
Gratitude is so important that Tibetan Buddhists have a slogan: “Be grateful to everyone.” By that they mean to be grateful to even (or maybe especially) those people who have brought you strife, because by doing so, those people gave you an opportunity to practice patience. Moreover, a moment of gratitude expressed to such a person can be extremely powerful — because a person who has caused you some problem is the last person who would expect you to say “thank you.” The ripple effect from such a “thank you” is even greater than usual, IF the thank you comes across as truly sincere and not sarcastic.
There are other ways to amplify the ripple effect of a thank you. One way is to put it in writing — handwriting.
As email becomes more common, receiving a handwritten note via snail mail has become an unusual experience. Most of us rarely receive handwritten letters. As a result, a thank you note in the mail, handwritten in ink on a beautiful card, can really touch the person who receives it. It is unexpected, maybe even unnecessary. Because it is so unexpected and unnecessary, and because it involves the extra exertion of obtaining a card and stamps, writing the note, walking it to a mailbox, such a thank you touches the heart of the recipient.
A thank you touches the heart so much that researchers have begun to study the effects of gratitude in the business world. A 2009 study of the hotel industry found that hotel guests are more likely to return to the same hotel if they are thanked for their stay. This year, a Wharton School of Business study noted that when people who help someone are thanked in writing, they feel a sense of self-efficacy and social worth. In other words, they feel that their actions have meaning and were valued by the people around them. A written thank you feels so good that people who receive one are more likely to repeat the action for which they were thanked, not just for the person who thanked them, but also for others.
In addition to touching the heart of the person who receives it, a written thank you says something about the person who sends it. It creates the impression that not only are you a thoughtful person who is capable of a graceful gesture, but also that you are an organized, self-disciplined person. The more uncommon a written thank you note becomes, the stronger the good impression becomes that is made by the person who writes and mails such notes.
How can we incorporate written expressions of gratitude — and the ripple effects that they engender — into our lives? It isn’t hard. Here are a few tips:
- Keep a supply of beautiful notecards, pens, and stamps at your desk or in your briefcase or purse. (I prefer a fountain pen, but any pen that is a pleasure to write with will do.)
- Make a habit of collecting business cards — not only will you build your network of contacts, but you will have an address handy to which to send your thank you note.
- Write a thank you note quite soon after the act for which you are thanking a person — within 24 hours, while the event is still fresh in both your minds.
- Keep your note short and to the point.
- Don’t thank a person to make a good impression, even though you will. Make your thanks utterly sincere.
Remember, small actions such as mailing thank you notes may not feel like a big deal. But like so many small actions that we rarely think about, like any action that touches people’s hearts, this one can change the world.
Image courtesy of flickr member wot nxt / Marcel van Schooten
Art Decker is a division manager with Self Storage Company, which operates a group of websites, including a California self-storage locator. Art leads a busy life, but enjoys meeting new people and interacting with customers as he travels between sites, like from San Francisco to the Los Angeles self-storage.
Happiness is…?
How-to guides to finding happiness seem to be the current trend in popular psychology. Look almost anywhere on the Internet and you will find a dozen experts willing to provide lists, formulae, even flowcharts that illuminate the route to happiness. But for anyone (read: “everyone”) struggling to find it, happiness is an often-elusive concept, not an algebra problem with a step-by-step logical process that yields a quick solution.
I believe we each have our own unique path to happiness, and it’s a path that may change directions a few times as we move through life. But I think a few things are true for everyone.
To be happy we should not only be grateful for the big things—our minds, our lives and the people we choose to share them with—but the little ones as well. The people I’ve known who seem to have the most inner peace are able to find great contentment in the simple and the ordinary, things like a blue sky, a good cup of coffee and a silly conversation with a friend. These little pleasures, and the moments we take to enjoy them, don’t last, but our ability to find joy in life does.
The way to happiness doesn’t come with a map, so we must bumble along as best we can. But if we can enjoy the journey, then we’re already halfway there.
Image by Peter Hartl
Tori is a student intern who will be working with the Thankfulfor team over the summer. She is a senior at the Savannah College of Art and Design, where she is studying graphic design.
It Takes a Village - and PayPal
We have a new zen garden at Thankfulfor!
Many thanks to our intern, Tori, for conceptualizing, designing and building this beautiful zen garden, community support page for Thankfulfor.
While we are working on products and features that will turn Thankfulfor into a self-supporting site (and some even bigger plans for the future!) we are still small and don’t yet have the scale to truly support the regular investment it still requires. We have so many feature requests from the community that we want to roll out, but in order to keep the site free (and free from tons of advertisements) we need some support.
If you’ve ever found inspiration from someone’s post on Thankfulfor, or enjoyed writing in your own journal, please consider making a donation of support. If financial giving is not an option, check out the other ways you can show your support.
Many thanks to all of you for helping to build such a beautiful little corner of the Internets.
CommentsBack to School
No matter how old I get, there’s still enough of the kid left in me who thinks summer is a magic word and August is the “beginning of the end.” Summer was the Promised Land of no homework, longer days and later bedtimes. Endless opportunities existed in those hours of freedom: entire days spent at my cousin’s horse barn or on the river with my best friend; taking trips to the beach; reading books that I actually wanted to read; and catching small creatures that nature and my mother never intended as pets. The world was subject to my every whim.
But inevitably at some point over the summer I would start to squander my freedom. After the 100th rendition of “I’m bo-ORED, give me something to do,” I could tell my mother was seriously debating the merits—and potential legal ramifications—of locking me in a closet. School started to sound like a pretty good idea, and it came with its own unique opportunities (not all of which were academic, but usually educational). As excited as I was for the onset of summer, I was always a little thankful to see it end. So was my mother.
Although I was a kid, I still understood that change is good. Even fun can develop its own rut, and I believe we are better able to appreciate something when it exists in moderation. Perhaps this is why it took me just a little longer to really appreciate school.
Image by Emilie Eagan
Tori is a student intern who will be working with the Thankfulfor team over the summer. She is a senior at the Savannah College of Art and Design, where she is studying graphic design.
We’ve Got Profiles… and Pictures… and Following!
We’ve been working on this for a while now and it’s been so hard for us to know that it was coming, test all the features on our test system, yet not get to share it with everyone. But as of tonight, thanks to our dev team led by Bill, we’ve got some colorful and fun new features!
Profiles: now you can add a photo of yourself, your website and tell us a bit about you. Just go into the Settings and select the Profile tab to set yours up!
Following: many of you asked us for a way to follow people you know or interesting people you’ve seen on the site. Now just click on someone’s name to see their profile and click the “Follow” button.
Friends Thanks: use this link in the navigation at the top of the page to see the posts of only the people you follow.
Photos: you can upload or link to photos of things or people you are thankful for. (This is my fave feature!)
Notifications: go into Settings and select the Notifications tab to see the different emails you can get. We’ve added email notices to let you know when someone follows you, to send you posts your friends have posted (if you follow them) and even a Daily Digest from Thankfulfor that sends you a few posts from the public stream of thanks from that day.
Updated social buttons: under the posting box, we’ve updated the Twitter & Facebook options (if you’ve turned those on in the Settings area). If the icons are bright, that means they will send your posts to Twitter/Facebook. If they are grey, then they are turned off. Just click on them to toggle back and forth.
Deep linking: now you can link directly to a post like this: http://thankfulfor.com/musings/24436
Please try them out and let us know what you think. And don’t think we’re stopping here. We’ve got more in the pipeline… like some mobile apps people have been asking for. YAY!
CommentsThankfulfor Check Marks (and the Stuff Inbetween)
Where do you see yourself in ten years? It’s a favorite question of potential employers, college admissions departments and the parents of your significant other, all of whom want to be sure that you’re not a couch-surfing loafer. But no matter how well intentioned your answer may be, sometimes life has other plans.
Ten—even twenty—years ago, I had some lofty goals for myself. Though my list of Things to Do Before I’m Thirty has undergone some significant revision since I first composed it over my childhood best friend’s Barbie Dream House, the gist is still much the same. See the world. Fall in love. Have a career I enjoy. Do something amazing I can brag about at my high school reunion. I’ve checked a few of the little things off of my list (climb a volcano and see the movie Casablanca) but most of the big ones are still notably unaccounted for.
However, there is one thing I’ve learned since I’ve stopped playing with Barbies: I have plenty of time. You can’t pack a lifetime’s worth of experiences into a few short years, nor should you want to. There are still a lot of things that I hope to accomplish in my life, but I’m thankful for the things I’ve already achieved, the friends I’ve made, the experiences had and the lessons learned. Being grateful doesn’t mean that I’m complacent; it only means that I can appreciate the things that weren’t on my list even while I’m taking steps to reach those that are.
Work for what you want, but be grateful for what you already have.
Image by Ana Campos
Tori is a student intern who will be working with the Thankfulfor team over the summer. She is a senior at the Savannah College of Art and Design, where she is studying graphic design.
Thankfulfor You - Moo Cards Are Here!
All cards were designed by our fabulously talented intern, Tori. Aren’t they great?
I was inspired to create something like this when I was at a hotel trying to check in and things were a bit hectic - the person at the counter was so fabulous… I told them so, but also wanted to hand them something a little special to express my gratitude (not just a tip). Now we can hand these out to anyone.
And of course, I love the Moo Card packaging. I’ve had 2 great experiences with companies from the UK recently (Moo and Boden).. and both had really fun and memorable personalities. Thankfulfor You, Moo!
Comments
Jen is part of the team behind Thankfulfor, the online gratitude journal community. You can learn more about her here and check out her own personal gratitude journal.Be a part of Thankfulfor and start your own journal today.
International Friendship Day
A good friend is a connection to life - a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world. ~Lois Wyse
International Friendship Day celebrations take place on the first Sunday of August. The spread and origin of this holiday are not yet well documented. Evidence from social networking sites indicates the holiday may have grown with the spread of the Internet, and is known in India, Nepal, Bangladesh, and Malaysia. There is also some evidence that the day is celebrated in some South American countries. Digital communication modes such as the Internet and mobile phones may be helping to popularize the custom, since greeting friends en masse is now easier than before. … This year, Friendship Day will be celebrated on August 1st 2010. - Wikipedia
I just returned from a week-long trip home prompted by my highschool reunion, which was filled with old stories relived, dancing, good times and laughter. It was a lovely evening catching up with old friends. The days surrounding the event were spent with some of my longest-time friends. The kind of close friends that have never required a reunion, Facebook or Twitter to stay in touch.
I have immense gratitude for these long-time friends. Despite the physical distance between us, we are there for each other. No matter what changes take place in our lives through the years, we can look at each other and still see the light we exuded as kids - the spark that makes us each tick. There is a depth of comfort with each other that makes it a special relationship.
So it was quite à propos that upon my return, I would discover via Twitter that today is Friendship Day. A great day to think about and celebrate all of our friends - old and new. The ones who knew us before braces and those more recent friendships that sparked over a completely different type of circumstance. Cheers my friends!
Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive. ~Anäis Nin
Photo: Jen, Jodie, Michelle by candlelight - courtesy of Chris Frothingham - all longtime and dear friends.
Comments
Jen is part of the team behind Thankfulfor, the online gratitude journal community. You can learn more about her here and check out her own personal gratitude journal.Be a part of Thankfulfor and start your own journal today.
Detours Welcome
I’ve never been fond of the Interstate. It quickly gets you where you want to go, but it’s just so boring. The topography might change a little, but a section of the Interstate running through North Carolina is essentially no different than one in Oklahoma: concrete and billboards. And it’s a sure thing you’re not there to appreciate the scenery; traveling at 75 mph, your only goal is to book it as fast as legally possible from point A to point B. If you stop along the way, it’s probably at a gas station, rest stop or a motel from which you can still hear the roar of passing cars. Traveling this way, you don’t see the world. You just pass through it.
Which is why I appreciate a detour. It may get me where I’m going a little slower, but I actually enjoy the journey. If it’s a place where I’ve never been, there’s always the potential thrill of discovery: a beautiful landscape, a lovely old building, funky tourist traps and hole-in-the-wall restaurants. I like to see how other people live, how they pass their time and the things they create. There’s a lot of world to see between points A and B, and moving quickly, you tend to miss it.
More often than not, life is about the detours. The stuff you don’t plan or deliberately seek, but that just happens to cross your path can enrich your life in ways you didn’t expect. We have to be open to chance encounters, to serendipitous adventures and new perspectives. Explore, and be willing to deviate from your planned itinerary. With so much to appreciate and learn in this weird, wonderful world, who knows what new experiences you’ll find to be Thankfulfor.
Image by Shannon Kokoska
Tori is a student intern who will be working with the Thankfulfor team over the summer. She is a senior at the Savannah College of Art and Design, where she is studying graphic design.
